Had to make breakfast, get Riley ready for a Disneyland day with grandma and go shop for food to make for my chemo lunch. Packed up my chemo bag (books, kindle, laptop, blanket, lunch, snacks, water). Head down to the center and make pretty good time, traffic isn't too bad. Get to the center and they call us back. Unfortunately my insurance still hasn't given authorization for one of the drugs, so we have to wait awhile. All the other ladies there are very friendly and talkative. Most are dealing with worse situations that I am, so puts into perspective to me that it could be worse and be grateful that I caught mine early. Finally after a little over an hour, my insurance gives the ok. So I get hooked up. They give me a cocktail of drugs before they start the actual chemo. Nausea medication, Benadryl and Pepcid. The Benadryl immediately kicks my ass. Makes me feel totally drugged out and can hardly walk, speak or keep my head upright. I try to sleep, but it is a very restless sleep and after about an hour I give up and start talking to another lady that has just arrived. The rest of the treatment is pretty boring. I read, watch tv and chat. And before I know it, it's over. I have a pretty bad headache, but other than that I feel ok. I am scared of what's to come and don't know what to expect. I am freaked out knowing that I have just introduced a toxin into my body that is currently killing important cells in my body and there is no going back. My immune system will go down, My hair will fall out, my skin will dry up, and i will be exhausted and there is nothing I can do about it. It's done. It is what it is and I just need to try and get through it however I can. Officially 6 weeks post surgery today. And 12 weeks to go until treatment is done. I think I can, I think I can.
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